Lunar Lullabies from a Silver Siren

Poems, short stories, and musings from the lady known as Silver.

True Twilight

Oh, how she walked in beauty, so much like the star-filled night. Her eyes held countless constellations when her mood was right. And when she was happy, her eyes were a full moon, pulling on the waves of the hearts of ever soul she encountered. Even in her sadness was a soft allure, the moisture in her eyes reminding one of a moon on water. Indeed, if you spoke with her, you would see that even in her sadness, she always found a song to cling to with her delicate grasp.

She never meant to discredit the untouchable treasure of daylight. For it is by the sun that we see and in the sun that we live. But even within the knowledge of that, she finds a sweet solace within the sultry seduction of sunset. The colors dancing across the sky to herald the coming of night never cease to captivate her. So she waits, anticipates and welcomes the twilight. These moments of quiet and hushed tones, of refreshment and recuperation, delving into the myriad of secrets that the darkness holds for those brave enough to venture forth...

She smiles as she walks in its beauty.

A Broken System for a Broken World

As I sit here waiting to see how the case of Troy Davis ultimately resolves itself, my thought starts to wander to the root of it all. Once we get past the emotional cries for a family that will be losing a member tonight (innocent or guilty), once we get past the tinted glasses that urge us to scream "Racism" every five minutes....even once we get past the analytic side of us that recognizes that the system is broken, we eventually come down to the ultimate truth of this whole situation.

The system is broken because the world is broken, and it has been since The Fall. Yet, we still manage to be surprised at every injustice and every nastiness of life that rears its ugly head within this world. There is a difference between being surprised and being sympathetic. My heart goes out to both parties at the end of the day. One family has already lost a loved one and the other may well lose theirs before this night is over. There has been a lot of pain and suffering as both parties cry out for justice.

One of the verses that inspired me to go to law school is Matthew 23:23 -

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."

These were Christ's words, and He suffered at the hands of the system. If God made Man felt the sting of injustice, dying for the sins of the whole world at the hands of people claiming to do God's will, then we should not be surprised that anyone should die in the place of another at the hands of a self-proclaimed secular state.

Should we mourn the death of the innocent? Of course. However, we should mourn every death, regardless of the crime. Christ thought enough of them to die for their sins. Who are you to say they aren't worthy of tears or thoughts? One man was already executed tonight, and while his crimes were disgusting, God had a purpose and a destiny for that man.

At the end of the day, every child of God is called to do their part to establish heaven on earth. However, we were warned! Christ told us that in the last days, man's love would grow cold and brother would betray brother. If any of us honestly expects things to get better anytime soon, then I suggest you read Revelations. This world and everything in it will be corrupted and destroyed at some point. Our task, as it has been since Pentecost, has been to focus on the souls of men, first and foremost. After that, we meet what needs we can.

So, with what time remains, I'm praying for the soul of Troy Davis, as well as the souls of all of the people intimately involved with this case.

The system is broken because the world is broken. It was never our task to fix the system. Only to save the passengers on the ship before it completely goes down.


It is a feat to feel alone in such an atmosphere as this, yet one she easily manages. Red lips do smile, parting softly in quiet conversation with those she knows of who cross her path. The music goes on as she chooses which invitation to accept, not allowing just any hand to embrace her tonight. A dance, a story shared, every moment spent with this room full of beautiful dreamers savored to stash away until the next occasion.

For when the last note is played and the last person leaves, when the gloves and shoes come off to be stowed away safely, when the mask is finally removed to be placed upon its shelf, the maiden finds herself alone once more, seated in her window. Even the moon is a fairweather friend tonight.

Dancing in the Storm, Singing in the Desert

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and He will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." - Daniel 3:16-18

To borrow the words of Flyleaf, "sometimes life seems to quiet into paralyzing silence." There seems no answer to our pleas, no relief to the pain that has found its way into our existence. The tears seem to come more often than the smiles, and we repeat the word "why" as a soft mantra, even while we ignore the answer. It is in the midst of our pain that fronts fade, pretenses pass and masks melt. The truth of ourselves has nowhere left to hide as we reveal all our insecurities and deepest fears, we demonstrate where our strength may in fact come from.

Perhaps the reason we reject these moments the most is because of the stripping down process. In a world where we are raised to cover up everything from flaws of the skin to those of personality, so many of us are afraid of baring our soul to the world, let alone to ourselves. It is in these moments, that the most growth can happen though. We clear out the clutter in the room, piece by piece, decoration by decoration, until we can see the cracks in the walls and the stains on the carpet. It becomes evident what repair work needs to be done. Then the task falls on our shoulders to begin that work.

We can fear the storms in our life for the destructive power that they hold. However, they can only destroy those things which are not prepared for it - the flimsy shack, the unenforced windows, the toys left outside. We can also respect the storm for showing us what didn't really matter, what areas of our life need to be reinforced.

We can fear the trek in the desert for the loss it requires. We fear the things left behind, the things we think we need and the comfort we were used to. The beautiful thing about the desert is in fact the barren nature of it, in how beautiful it is despite its seeming lack. Silence is something we take for granted these days, because it is only when we are still and quiet that we are left alone with only ourselves and God. Perhaps some of us fear that one-on-one time.

I have lost. I have cast my pearls to swine. I have carried unnecessary burdens. I have stood fast in my faith despite the world telling me to do otherwise. I have cried. I have mourned. I have sat in the darkness of my heart and wondered where the light was to be found. I have looked in the mirror for a glimpse of the woman I know myself to be. And through the few years that God has given me to experience on this earth, I have come to understand that no matter what I go through and what the outcome is, God is still the Provider, the Healer, the Shepherd, the One Who sees me.

He has never given me a reason to believe that I am not in the palm of His hand, even when my plans are dashed and there is not a cent to my name. Either I trust Him or I don't.

I'm learning to be that little girl, willing to play out in the rain because I know my Father is nearby. I'm learning to be that little girl, singing happily with nothing but the clothes on my back because my Father is singing there with me. I'm learning to trust Him with a little more each day and to return to that carefree child when it comes to the nastiness of life. To know that no matter what happens or how it all turns out, that my Father's arms will always be there, and that truth will always remain.

No More Hunting

Her howl has ceased to rebound through the night sky, and the nighttime creatures no not whether to be more cautious or at ease. Little do they know, they are the furthest thing from her mind at the moment. Nose to the ground, her tail flicks up now and then to keep from getting too dirty. She was sulking, and she knew it, but the mood had taken her, and she refused to be shaken from it. Her wanderings finally took her to the lake, and she sat herself in front of it.

The moon was a mere sliver in the sky, but the light was enough to maintain its form on the shifting waters before her. She sat, glaring at the lake as her mind wandered elsewhere. Whatever paths may have existed were of no use now. The scent was gone. She'd lost their tracks.

Rage had been her initial reaction, but that had quickly shifted into some odd mixture of abandonment and self-fury. How could they? Why did it all matter? She'd needed them... She didn't need anyone. The emotions had run their course until all that was left was exhaustion. So, laying down, she glanced up at the moon once more, wondering where they lay beneath it tonight. Lingering emotions all drifted away, seemingly being absorbed into the damp earth like water. All but the most basic of attachments, for even now, she still wished to run with them once more. But for the sake of her own sanity, she could not allow herself to chase after those who'd left her behind anymore.

Silvered Existence

What is it like to be Silver?

I reflect. I glisten. When I am untarnished, I may offer you a glimpse of who you are. I am a natural occurrence, no pretense or artifice. When attention is paid to me, I shine, even sing. And every time I go through the fire and come out, I become more pure, less tainted, closer to perfection.

I am beauty, claimed as much for my appearance as I am for my abilities. I am patience, able to be molded and shaped over time and labor. I am a vessel, meant to carry power and warmth.

But if I could sum up the essence of what it is to be Silver in one word, that one word would be this...


The closer I get to perfection, the more I will be Love. So for those of you who bother to take a moment of your day to read this or any of my posts, I thank you for your love and know that you walk in mine. And to those of you who know me as Silver, know that I will always be Silver to you, no matter when we last went on a mount quest together or last ran God's Trial. This moniker of mine has come to mean more to me than you shall ever know.


You always sounded sad, even when you laughed. But even in its sorrow, I found it beautiful. It was the loveliness of fall leaves, the bittersweet sound of strength and loneliness. What touched my heart more than its beauty, however, was the fact that you believed that your loss was forever.

Silly little flower. All things must die to make room for the new. The seed must be destroyed in order to become more than what it is. An apple seed, so small and frail, produces a tree which produces more apples which produce more seeds.

I truly wish I could hear a pure laugh from you. I would love to see an untainted smile light up your face. If only you would shift your sight and embrace the possibilities of life instead of looking at what the past holds. Time once lost, loves grown cold, wasted potential and abandoned dreams. None of it matters, I promise you. Each time you open your eyes, I want you to focus on what you do have, not what you lack. I want you to chase after those things that are still alive - your hopes and dreams that are before you.

Live, sweet soul. I always pray that the next time I hear your voice, I can finally hear its complete and true beauty. There are moments I think I sampled it, when it spoke of the things you cherish and love. Hold on to that passion, press through to your spring, and live. If not for your own sake, then at least for mine.

God Who Sees Me

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me."
-Genesis 16:13

[Y]our Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
-Matthew 6:4, 6,18

Wouldn't it be amazing to see the way that God sees? Perhaps I should rephrase that a bit. Isn't it amazing when we are walking so close to God that we see what He sees, our lines of sight so closely linked that not even a word need be said? But the true treasure....those moments I've come to look for eagerly...are when He lets you glimpse at the why. When He leans in and whispers, sharing His vision of your own destiny, you may as well be reborn all over again for the way that it energizes your spirit and clears your senses.

I've wondered at my seeming stasis over the past few months. I've managed to accomplish a lot of nothing, filling up my time with gaming, sleeping, anime and manga. All the while, I knew greater tasks were waiting for me, but even with my dreamer's mind, it was hard for me to connect with the visions that had been given to me for safe keeping. I have always been good at procrastinating, and if I am perfectly honest with myself, I do treat my spiritual life as I do my worldly affairs, often ignoring the fact that they are all a reflection of my relationship with my Father.

I have a new understanding of just how deep and broad God's sight is, despite that time of seeming nothingness. Seeds were still being planted; growth of all sorts was still taking place. That is why there is always weeding to be done and harvests to look for in the garden of our souls. Even in those moments when it seems like there is not a thing moving, we tend to overlook that the essence of life...all change, and all living things are always changing, be they relationships or our own minds and souls.

Taking a moment to glance back over the past few months, I see what work I have done, uprooting some plants while sowing other seeds. It was a subtle work, and I only came to realize it was done when I looked at the results. But God saw my labor, He saw that I needed this time alone with just me and my precious little garden. It has been a time of healing and a time of rest that I was not aware I really needed. When God allows silence to creep into our lives, it would be wise to make the most of it. Even He rested on the Sabbath.

I thought that my husband joining the Marines was for him and our future family. I see now that it was for me as well, in so many ways. God saw what I needed and when I would need it even as He dotes on the me of right now. He is the God who sees me...all of me...and moves heaven and earth to help me see me too.

Not Alone