God Who Sees Me

She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me."

-Genesis 16:13

[Y]our Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

-Matthew 6:4, 6,18

Wouldn't it be amazing to see the way that God sees? Perhaps I should rephrase that a bit. Isn't it amazing when we are walking so close to God that we see what He sees, our lines of sight so closely linked that not even a word need be said? But the true treasure....those moments I've come to look for eagerly...are when He lets you glimpse at the why. When He leans in and whispers, sharing His vision of your own destiny, you may as well be reborn all over again for the way that it energizes your spirit and clears your senses.

I've wondered at my seeming stasis over the past few months. I've managed to accomplish a lot of nothing, filling up my time with gaming, sleeping, anime and manga. All the while, I knew greater tasks were waiting for me, but even with my dreamer's mind, it was hard for me to connect with the visions that had been given to me for safe keeping. I have always been good at procrastinating, and if I am perfectly honest with myself, I do treat my spiritual life as I do my worldly affairs, often ignoring the fact that they are all a reflection of my relationship with my Father.

I have a new understanding of just how deep and broad God's sight is, despite that time of seeming nothingness. Seeds were still being planted; growth of all sorts was still taking place. That is why there is always weeding to be done and harvests to look for in the garden of our souls. Even in those moments when it seems like there is not a thing moving, we tend to overlook that the essence of life...all life...is change, and all living things are always changing, be they relationships or our own minds and souls.

Taking a moment to glance back over the past few months, I see what work I have done, uprooting some plants while sowing other seeds. It was a subtle work, and I only came to realize it was done when I looked at the results. But God saw my labor, He saw that I needed this time alone with just me and my precious little garden. It has been a time of healing and a time of rest that I was not aware I really needed. When God allows silence to creep into our lives, it would be wise to make the most of it. Even He rested on the Sabbath.

I thought that my husband joining the Marines was for him and our future family. I see now that it was for me as well, in so many ways. God saw what I needed and when I would need it even as He dotes on the me of right now. He is the God who sees me...all of me...and moves heaven and earth to help me see me too.